#19--On Being David Borders

100% on the wiki quiz. And I didn't even have to reference the wiki.
OK, so maybe I did. Just kidding, I didn't. Or...
You know, I really wish the note-takers for the managers meetings would put something juicy in there. I mean, they're interesting-ish reports, but some side/foot notes or funny commentary (maybe Gail is picking her nose?) would be greatly appreciated.

• If I were David, I would type up an entire fake manager's report, because it's "funny." (I will admit, though, the recent parody communication agreement was quite good.)
  

• If I were David, I would stop wearing turtlenecks. (The only exception to this is if you pair it with a beret, unclip your garters, and invest in bongo drums, ya beatnik.)
  

• If I were David, I would not wear my cellphone in a case on my belt loop anymore. Quit showing off, we all have cellphones.

• If I were David, I would try to be more enigmatic by not posting constant updates about my feelings to the Facebook world. And no more van pictures. And no, I don't want to go to Sunday school with you.
  

• If I were David, I would attempt to be more subtle and clever with my "books in the mailbox" humor. Irritable Bowel Syndrome? Coping with Impotence? Really, David?
  

• If I were David, I would work on not crying so much in public. I know it's hard, but my next suggestion may help stem those tears, buddy.
  

• If I were David, I would stop losing FF matchups in such a pathetic fashion. "BLOWOUT!" (compliments of Jordan)

I'm just glad I'm not David, is all I'm saying. It must be frustrating to see the world through those glasses.


(This picture is really creepy. Let's pretend it's David.)

#18 2.0

I actually found Zamzar to be a little confusing. I converted it, received the email, and downloaded the file....? But I converted it to a weird format and realized that I wouldn't be able to successfully embed the video from the hard drive. I think I'm probably just being a little thick.
Anyways, in the overall spirit of this blog, here are a couple videos, as promised:
(I don't think I've returned to the Muppet theme enough, so now I will overcompensate)

#18--THE FRENCH

So, I didn't finish in time for the drawing.

I don't know if you guys have heard, but--breaking news--scientists are scandalous too!
(You know, Newton versus Gottfried Leibniz style.)

Read the scandal--thanks to TinyURL:
http://tinyurl.com/yjow23b

In other hilarious science-related news:

"On Nov. 3 electricity from a substation was knocked out briefly to part of the superconductor refrigeration. Although no damage resulted, the scientists would have lost one day for sending beams of protons around the collider had it been running. CERN said feathers and baguette crumbs found at the scene indicated a piece of bread dropped by a bird caused a short-circuit in the substation. 'The bird escaped unharmed but lost its bread," CERN told its employees. "The incident was similar in effect to a standard power cut, for which the machine protection systems are very well prepared.'"

"No! Not in the supercollider! The French are always trying to sabotage us, just because we're smarter and more attractive!"

On a similar topic...
What did the French existentialist seagull say?
"Pourquoi?! Pourquoi?!?"
(Imagine me flapping my arms and making funny bird noises)

I am waiting for Zamzar to send my converted file to me:
Stayed tuned for The Muppets Bohemian Rhapsody.

#17--Low fuel and follow-through

Everyone seemed to like the library job posting link. It was pretty cool as a portal to other library websites, but if you scroll to the bottom of the home page, you'll notice that it hasn't been updated since May....
I went to the library blogs. I liked info-fetishist's blog--great name and I can get behind that woman's caliber of nerdy academia. Using sentence diagrams to create level upon level of irony is something I can appreciate. And I hate diagramming sentences.

I don't have a lot else on this one, so I will tell a story:

My "Low Fuel" light turned on today....procrastinator. It was around noon; every pump at the closest gas station was occupied. I assessed the situation and decided to pull in behind a maroon Honda Accord with a crooked yellow bumper sticker that said "Flipped!" There was no one in or around the car--so I assumed that some young man wearing a backwards ball cap and a shirt with shiny writing on it would come strutting out of the gas station soon enough and peel out of the parking lot--leaving me and the pump in his over-confident dust. It seemed like the quickest option.
So, I'm sitting. Sitting. Sittttting. Finally, an elderly gentleman leaning on a cane exited the store, and I knew. He belonged to the Honda, and the Honda belonged to him. He didn't have any coffee or scratch tickets in his hands; he had simply prepaid for the fuel, I realized.
This was the slowest man in the world. But he looked like a very nice, interesting man. So, I watched him hobble to his car, open his car door, press a button to open the door to the gas tank, and very slowly fill his tank.
At this point, I had watched other cars get in line, their owners make gasoline purchase, and move along with their lives. There were empty pumps around me, but I decided that by choosing this pump I had, in fact, made a commitment. Why be so stubborn?
When he finally finished, he waved and smiled at me. I waved and smiled back. BUT WAIT, WAIT...as he's opening his car door, he gets a phone call. And Lord knows you shouldn't drive while talking on a cell phone!

It was worth it.

#16--Open Source: A Sappy Love Story

Open Office is great, especially with how much Microsoft Office 2007 annoys me ("but it's prettier!"). File compatibility bugs are pretty much all worked out, it is integrated cross-platform, and for all intensive purposes, capabilities are functionally the same.
Sure, we all want the CS4 Design Premium Suite.
Options:

• Download it illegally and go to jail where you won't be able to use it and your friends won't think you're so cool anymore.
• Pay for it, you rich punk. ($1,799 before tax, upgrade for $599)

OR you can go to osalt.com (Open Source as Alternative) to research what open source options are out there to patchwork together your own suite. You can even name it something cool, if you want. So download Gimp, Cinelerra, CinePaint, Jahshaka, KToon, and OpenLaszlo. Call it "LLM Suite 3000+" (patent pending and making it to the playoffs since 2009).

Right now in school, I am working specifically with MySQL 5 and Apache (both open source) to build web-based databases that will interface with HTML through PHP. It's amazing what you can do for free.

The subculture around open source is fascinating, too. It's a movement that hasn't been fully recognized. These people are like punks before it died, but they're smarter.

#15--Clipping right along...

...ha...ha.
Do you know what's cool about Clipmarks, I just found out? It shares your clips with everyone and ranks them by most popular clip. Very interesting, because not only can I save favorite pages, but I can also browse through other weirdo's favorite pages. So, be careful what you clip if you don't want strangers to judge you, I suppose.
Debbyski is a big fan of "Is Doomsday Coming?"
Euphoriajoca is into "10 Weirdest Animal Friendships"

But seriously, Clipmarks reminds me--in a backwards way--of StumbleUpon, of which I'm a big fan. There is a community aspect similar to Clipmarks, but it takes you to sites you might like based on the interests criteria you specify. You can thumbs up/down, share, and save sites. I've spent hours lost in the depths of the Internet thanks to this tool.
http://www.stumbleupon.com/aboutus/
Read the section called "Combats Information Overload." The coolest thing about this program is the smart technologies behind it. How can something described as an "intelligent browsing tool" with a "recommendation engine and database" not be sexy?
Blog about your experience. ......ha....ha (And we come full circle)

#14--Who wants to debate literary theory? Not me! But Melody, if you want to...I'm ready.

A couple weeks ago, I had the opportunity to help a lovely mother/daughter duo figure out how to download an audiobook through Overdrive to their iPod, from start to finish. They had been having trouble for weeks, and finally came in to see if they could get it to work on our download station.
To learn the process, I had downloaded a couple books to my laptop before, but I don't have an mp3 player/iPod, so I hadn't been able to step through that part yet.

The problem? When transferring audiobooks to iPods for the first time through Overdrive, you have to change a setting in iTunes under the iPod external device drive. The Overdrive media console and iTunes don't want to work together at first. Surprise surprise. So, I have actually had pretty good experiences assisting patrons with the downloadable audiobooks, meaning I've had successful experiences. But that doesn't negate the fact that it's a....process.

Personally, I don't like listening to books. I tried again recently, got 30 minutes in, and realized that I had no idea what was happening and had just wasted 30 minutes. It also could have been that I chose a pretentious postmodernist author, and that in fact NOBODY knows what he's talking about. And so it goes.
This is the second time that Melody has appeared in one of my titles. I bet Melody is a modernist. Now I want to debate literary theory. Fantastic.

#13--Soundtrack to "Greatest Necessity of the Age!"

Part I.
I visited Sound Snap and it was a... snap! ha..........ha. I just keep comin' with the bad one liners. On the site they have a full arsenal of sounds to mimic, simulate, and recreate those that can be associated with the use of toilet paper. Which, have I explained to you plebeian masses how great of an invention that soft, white, downy luxury is? Oh, I did? Well, moving on then.

Part II.
Part I was written by Jordan. I now know what he truly thinks of me. One way I think we can utilize Soundsnap at the library is with the childrens' puppet shows. I wonder if......Gail.....has been using this resource when putting together the soundtracks for the shows? Don't put sounds on the website.

Part III.
Yes, I know it's a little late to play catch-up. You're all thinking it.
I went to Jamendo:
I was blocked due to "Spyware URL: Misc. Exploits." Which was too bad, and made me wanted to get in even worse.
I went to ccMixter and I found a couple of artists that I will listen to when I'm not at the lower info desk. The descriptions were interesting (electronic hip hop and a cappella--no, not a mixture of the two, which would no longer make it a cappella).
The Soul Scratchers say "Believe y'all." I say "Don't tell me what to do, Soul Scratchers."

#12--Spreadin' the Novelist word

Part I.
I searched the recommendation: Harry Potter. The series order came right up, dates and everything. It was like magic...ha.........ha.
Part II.
I clicked on "Authors U-Z" (Fiction-Nonfiction) to browse through authors. Apparently, "Donald Westlake is a master at creating surprising, deftly-plotted crime stories in which things almost never go as planned." Sounds exciting!
Part III.
I wandered into "Adventure Writing," because I like adventures. I would like to think that if I ever went on an adventure, that I would get into a near-death situation and become courageous, saving the lives of stranded caterpillars and/or bear cubs that wander too close to the edge of a cliff. Or something.
And then I saw the "Food" genre and got hungry.

I hadn't used the "Recommended Reads" section before, and will definitely use it in the future.

#11--I try to follow the directions, but sometimes I get side-tracked by interesting things.

Graphic Novel Reporter is cool. The website is well put-together, even though it breaks the "no longer than a page" rule. Home page is looonngg. But the site is cool, like I said before. Cool. Yup.
News, resources, authors, blogs, resources for teachers and librarians. Maybe now people won't stomp on my glasses when they catch me reading comic books. It's not nerdy anymore.
But cooler than that is The Book Report Network itself. I had no idea there was a portal to centralized, genre-specific, "networked" sites.

Ok, so Alexander the Great was not an author in the traditional sense, but I was browsing through the categories on the left-hand side of the Biography Resource Center, and he was listed under "World Explorers." Hmm. Facts about A. the G.--

• Aristotle tutored him.
• He became an extreme alcoholic while attempting to conquer Arabia.
• They have his "Occupation" listed as Conqueror. I want that job. Business card:

_______________________________

Alexander the Great

Conqueror
MacedoniaRules@babylonsucks.com
Direct line: #1
_______________________________

The links to websites, magazines, and news are a nice touch.

#10--"The greatest necessity of the age!"

2.) I searched a lot of different consumer products that yielded no results before I finally landed on toilet paper. Moist toilet paper, specifically. Charmin Fresh Mates, Cottonelle Fresh Rollwipes, and Quilted Northern Fresh and Moist Wipes, to be exact. Septic safe! But wait, I want old-school toilet paper. The twenty-first century has such strange ideas; travel back with me to......(dun, dun, dunnnnn!) The 1990s.
But the cutting-edge toilet paper R & D was prevalent in the 90s as well. In the 90s, we found out that there was no wood in toilet paper (paper is made from trees, trees are wood, toilet paper). It's very confusing.
3.) So now, I'm curious. I'm toilet paper crazy; I can't get it out of my mind. It's all I can see.

(Photo provided by Flickr & "stevendepolo")

So, I went to the Biography Resource Center, and typed in Joseph Gayetty, developer of toilet paper as we know it. Nothing. Zero articles. Wikipedia is king.

#8--This one goes out to Melody

Today is a sad day. Not only did Randy Moss sorely let me down, but I now I'm forced to do the same thing to Melody--a new follower of my blog. Seeing as how I only have one day left to catch up on my Webolution posts, it's business time. No more moustaches, no more mobs; goodbye Russia, hypothermia and poetry.
It's time for Creative Commons:

I actually found my Beaker picture (right ->) on Flickr's creative commons picture pool. I have been using this for a few years, primarily for school. Sometimes it's hard to get a picture of a Karl Marx statue's shoe without the appropriate planning.
The coolest thing (according to me) about the Creative Commons website that I found are the Programs--Science Commons and ccLearn. People can share resources, information, and work on projects together through these programs.

#7--Angry mobs and moustaches

• I think that a GoodReads page for MCPLD is a great idea. I have heard people express the desire for more book club outlets at different age and interest levels. It would be a good complement to the book blog, providing opportunity for local patrons to interact. However, I haven't done a cost-benefit analysis or looked at the idea with a critical eye.
• AllReaders: The website is unappealing, but a search engine and portal to in-depth reviews is a useful tool. May be a good resource for a certain college student if they can't finish "The Jungle" by Tuesday. Hey, I read it in high school. I just need a refresher.
• LibraryThing: You have your back turned for a second. Reapproaching the counter, you see that a pile of items has suddenly appeared. In fact, it's a stack of your favorite movies and books. Looking around, you consider yelling, "Hey come back! Let's be friends..." but mystery person is gone. This is a website where you can seek out those encounters, and it's creepy.

Honestly, I don't read for escapism or pleasure. I love to read; I hate to read. I want a site that connects the lazy, cynical, academic, argumentative folk.

I would probably join Shelfari--it sounds adventurous--but I know I would rarely get on the site. But hey, I've made the time to check my fantasy football league at least twice a day, so how hard can it be?

Click to view these "Popular Moustaches" in detail. Vote on your favorite--the majority vote gets to join the "angry mob." Minority voters are the ones being chased by the angry mob. Hey, a well-groomed, stylish moustache is no joke.

#9--Oh Weebly, How We Knew Thee Not.

Thank you, Nancy and Cari.

Here I am, toiling away--coding websites from scratch in a room full of nerds and computers--when along comes pretty little Weebly.
She's a temptress. Writing all of my code, and then giving me full access to it...

It's a good thing I'm of high moral and ethical standards.

The Site That Would Have Taken Hours to Code--Only Took 10 Minutes

Whoops! Skipped tasks 7 & 8. I'll go back...
At least I kept it short.

#6--Emotions=Poetry + Pictures of Cats

I liked the OLC site's "Libraries are for users!" page simply for the 2008 Digital Project Report link. Because I'm a nerd. The "Where do users go for information?" and "What do users expect online?" sections contained a good selection of information that those working in the public services arena should know in order to better understand context for the users' wants/needs.

• 71% of users only get online to surf the Internet aimlessly?

Personal side note: The "Internet" is a proper noun, and should be treated as such. Capital "I."

• 25% of Internet users are just looking for "humorous content"?

(I guess this holds true when I think of experiences on the lower info desk; if I get to help someone search for Shakira ringtones or log them off after "stumbling" on a semi-pornographic site that won't let them leave, then my day is complete.)

Along the same lines, I thought it was interesting that the Customer Service 123 site emphasized the fact that patrons' information needs and wants are evolving/changing. I did not agree with everything the creators of this site posited, but a fantastic point was made on the Customer page. "Customer satisfaction is emotional, not logical."

To throw in some emotional flavor, I will end with part of a poem I just Googled:

If I ever decided to shoplift
and then got caught for shoplifting
I would say I was undercover
doing a journalistic piece on shoplifting

Obviously I would be prepared
have proof upon my person
I’ll take notes on shoplifting
So while getting handcuffed I could say...

Shoplifting by Leah Ianonne

#5--Extreme hold-placing

OK. No one is going to read my posts if they just keep getting longer. I don't even want to read them, they're so intimidatingly long.

I've used both methods before. Both methods are basically on the same level in terms of simplicity and effectiveness, if I'm honest. BUT--
When going through method #2, I almost hit the "Start Over" button instead of the "Request" button. Not only was I embarrassed at having almost been tricked while my guard was lax (never down), but I don't think that the process from the book bag to the final request is appealing or intuitive.
And so I state my case:
For the purpose of aesthetics, natural flow, and maneuverability, I fully believe that the positions of the "Request Selected"/"Request All" and "Start Over"/"Logout" buttons should be switched. On most websites, the "Submit" button is at least at the bottom, right?

What if I had been helping a patron and clicked "Start Over" because it had moved in on the "Request" button's territory? We're not playing Risk (although I'm down if you guys want; I'll move in on you like Napoleon on Russia (and lose--if history has taught us anything, it's that there are two strategic factors to keep in mind when invading Russia: it's big and it's cold)).

As a patron, I would use a combination of the two (hold-placing methods, not hypothermia and Russia). Log in first, then add all of the items to the book bag.

As an employee, I'm indifferent. It all comes down to when the patron decides to hand me their library card in order to log them in. Sometimes it's hard to find cards in big purses and the like.

I'm accommodating.

#4--I'm friends with Harley-Davidson.

I am concerned that my last blog was a little long-winded.

Mesa County Public Library and I have been good Facebook friends for awhile now. But I realized that I was missing out on the joys of long-lasting friendships with Coca-Cola and Harley-Davidson. I browsed through the pages of several companies (Boeing, Starbucks, IBM, etc). The common themes between these pages (and the pages of libraries, the President, etc) are exposure and a degree of connection.
Going beyond marketing and publicity, organizations and public figures declaring themselves as "friends" on social networking sites makes us feel a little closer to something that does not actually exist as a tangible relationship. More and more, these pseudo-relationships are forming. For example, on Coca-Cola's Facebook page, there are opportunities for people to "join the community," "meet" the page creators, or get in on the discussions of the delicious cyber-cola world. It's all about the connection--if these pages can get us involved enough to make us feel some sort of emotional relationship, then they have our attention.
It's traditional marketing with an interactive twist--mirroring the way humans behave and connect in relationships. And it's a brilliant and evolving form of advertising.
I didn't really become friends with Harley-Davidson--I just stumbled upon it--but their page is pretty fancy. Heh.
Sorry this post is a little disjointed. I wrote it over a few days, and it's not like I actually know what I'm talking about. Maybe this is why I've never blogged before.

#3--Omniscient Site Map

My quiz results would have said:

"Wow, Lyndsay! My binary mind has been blown by your amazing and improbable 3333.333% test score! Statistically speaking, the quiz would have had to contain 49,985 more questions and still held a denominator of 15 in the equation in order for there to be any realistic possibility of such a high result. How and why did you come to exist?!...0110110011001."

But, alas. I finished the quiz and was told--like many others--that I was not allowed to take the quiz more than once. So, I told MyQuizCreator.com that I did only take the quiz once, and that I don't appreciate being called a liar. Either MyQuizCreator.com didn't care or it has a fantastic poker face.

I'm getting ahead of myself with digressions. The title of this blog is "Omniscient Site Map," not "My Ongoing Mental Struggles with Inanimate Objects." (Sounds like a good one, though)
I liked exploring parts of the website that were unknown to me, but the biggest mental note I made while taking the quiz was "Site Map knows everything."
I do not frequently utilize this tool--it's just not the first thing that comes to mind--but I think that it will be a good resource for when I am searching for information at a patron's request . The centralized and consolidated nature of the Site Map will help to shorten interaction times. There are also links and information on the Site Map page that I was not able to find elsewhere.

And I like things in alphabetical order. Indexed.

#2--Hearts or Thumbs?

I use Pandora. I also complain about Pandora.
"I said the Beatles, Pandora! For the love of God, if I have to 'thumbs down' one more Led Zeppelin song..."

So, for this post I decided to see what LastFM was all about.
What is LastFM all about?! (you find yourself asking)

• LastFM offers free mp3 downloads on specific songs
  
• LastFM has an "Events" section that contains concert dates and discussion threads
• LastFM lets you "Shout" (yay?), watch music videos, download applications to your iPhone, enter contests, etc.

I understand the appeal of this website. As Cari wrote in the task blog, LastFM has a slightly annoying social network-y feel to it--but I'm hearing music I haven't before. Take that, Pandora.
I would like to see the difference in the ways that Pandora and LastFM categorize and relate musical styles, because the two techniques have surprisingly dissimilar outcomes.

Don't gloat yet, Corey. I'm not down with "heart"-ing things, and I don't have an iPhone.

Task: Web Log

A couple years ago, I wrote a paper about blogs.

Abstract:
A thorough analysis of the social atmosphere and journalistic ethical dilemmas that surround the fact that everyone has the opportunity to publish for a world-wide audience. For better or worse, pros and cons, brilliance and sleaze, etc, etc.

It must not have been very convincing or exciting though (see Abstract for details), because I had never actually considered starting my own. I would hate to think that my writing is so dry that I could not even persuade myself to partake in the blog bonanza.

Lyndsay's Blog #1.