OK, so maybe I did. Just kidding, I didn't. Or...
You know, I really wish the note-takers for the managers meetings would put something juicy in there. I mean, they're interesting-ish reports, but some side/foot notes or funny commentary (maybe Gail is picking her nose?) would be greatly appreciated.
- If I were David, I would type up an entire fake manager's report, because it's "funny." (I will admit, though, the recent parody communication agreement was quite good.)
- If I were David, I would stop wearing turtlenecks. (The only exception to this is if you pair it with a beret, unclip your garters, and invest in bongo drums, ya beatnik.)
- If I were David, I would not wear my cellphone in a case on my belt loop anymore. Quit showing off, we all have cellphones.
- If I were David, I would try to be more enigmatic by not posting constant updates about my feelings to the Facebook world. And no more van pictures. And no, I don't want to go to Sunday school with you.
- If I were David, I would attempt to be more subtle and clever with my "books in the mailbox" humor. Irritable Bowel Syndrome? Coping with Impotence? Really, David?
- If I were David, I would work on not crying so much in public. I know it's hard, but my next suggestion may help stem those tears, buddy.
- If I were David, I would stop losing FF matchups in such a pathetic fashion. "BLOWOUT!" (compliments of Jordan)
(This picture is really creepy. Let's pretend it's David.)
